Quote of the Day

Overheard at home today...

"I'll bet Heat Miser doesn't like Al Gore."
- Jack

* * * * *

Ted: We should have waited until we were 38 to have kids.
Me: Why, because we would have only had one or two?
Ted: No, because we still wouldn't have any children yet.

The Paintbrush Police

The boys received Paint-Your-Own-Soccer ball kits for Christmas. They had a big painting party this morning, painting their balls, and mixing paint colors just for the mess fun of it. Elliot actually painted his ball a few days ago, but joined in the fun mixing paint colors in a bowl. His supplies had already been used up, so I set him up with one of the two paintbrushes that came in Jack's kit, and some paint that we had in the house. Everything was going splendidly, until Jack realized that Elliot was using one of his paintbrushes. *sigh* Jack jumped up and yelled something like, "Elliot's using my paintbrush. Aaaaaaah. Mama, I want Elliot to give back my paint brush right now!" Luckily, it was early enough in the morning that I was feeling fresh, and my brain was still lively enough to move fast on its feet. I stopped, leaning my head to one side like I was listening and said, "Oh no! I think I hear the paint brush police coming right now!" Silence fell over the whole room, as six little eyes turned to me. It had worked so well that I couldn't resist carrying it further. "The paintbrush police drive in a police car with a giant paintbrush on top, that spins around with a flashing light when their siren is on. Can you hear their siren in distance?" More silent stares followed; still no one had made a sound. "And do you know what the paintbrush police do if they catch someone who has stolen a paintbrush? (Six big eyes stared at me then.) They take that boy in the middle of the night and paint him his least favorite color from head to toe, so that when he wakes up in the morning he is covered in his least favorite color!" Amidst lots of giggles, and with a laughing smile on his face, Elliot  broke the silence. "Ding dong!" he said. Laughter erupted all around.

Ding dong is a sort of silly code word that Elliot devised last summer at Grammy Camp. He says it when someone is teasing him and he either wants to call them on their teasing, or make sure that they are in fact teasing. My dad likes to tease a lot. My kids have never liked teasing much, so Elliot came up with that remark in reply to Pop Pop's teasing. Apparently he employed it during his whole stay in Berwyn, but I didn't know about it, and didn't actually hear the word until we were all in Berwyn for Thanksgiving. Ted and I  really thought it was a clever response. Everyone liked it so much that it stuck. So, thank you paintbrush police. Thank you doorbell. We had a great time this morning. I'm so glad to have those silly moments to remember instead of a big meltdown!

A Very Bruin Christmas

It's Sunday night. All the kids are in bed. Christmas was two days ago, but with tomorrow being the first day back to work, it seems like Christmas is finally ending today. It was a great Christmas. We spent three great days with my parents, and I think everyone got what they wanted. Jack

commented specifically that he thought this was a much better Christmas than last year (meaning he was much happier with the gifts he got this year than last year!) The gift that has gotten the most play so far, by far, is Jack's Chaos Tower, followed closely by Elliot's Make Your Own Soda Kit. But, if I

had to pick a theme for this year's Christmas, it would probably be the Bruins. The boys picked out all Bruins themed presents for Ted, and got several themselves. Mattie found a toy Zamboni in his stocking. Elliot got a Bruins' blanket. The boys spent lots of time cuddling with Grammy on the couch under it. We also dubbed Elliot "Super Bruin" after he wore the blanket clipped on him like a cape for a while. And the cutest Christmas memory definitely came from Mattie. He spent all of Christmas day running around the room claiming presents as his own every

time he found an "up-down, up-down" on a box. "Up-down, up-down" is what he calls M's, as he learned to draw them that way. He found M's on just about every present that was opened.

Theo spent the day happily among his family, enjoying the wrapping paper and general mess on the floor. We didn't leave the house for 2 1/2 days. It felt like Christmas during that whole time. I hope you all enjoyed a wonderful holiday with your family too. I'm already counting the days until next year!

Quote of the Day

The following exchange occurred after dinner tonight.

Jack: I don't like having bath night for everyone on the same night. It's too much work.
Mama: For you?
Jack: No.

This came on the heels of another typical remark by Elliot. As we were practically pushing him down the stairs to go to school this morning, he remarked that he wished his life were more like Mattie's -- he wished he could play all day too...

Baby's First Snow!

Like so many of you, we had a great big snow storm this weekend. It was Theo's first snow! We went to the park to sled. Theo was out with us for about 45 minutes. He was very content to hang out with us, but his puzzled look led me to believe that he never did figure out what we were doing out there! Mattie, always our hardiest child, was outside from 11am until 4 pm, with only one momentary dash into the basement to pee. Jack and Ted were out with him. Boston Public Schools were closed today (for no reason that I can understand.) So, we had another chance to sled today. I took Jack, Elliot and Mattie back to the park. Armed with their three sleds, they walked over to the park very excitedly, but apparently sledding is one of those things that is better saved as a rare treat. Today, after about 10 minutes of sledding, they decided it would be much more fun to throw snow in each others' faces. Cold, wet, and crying, they headed home shortly after that for a different snow tradition they were eager to repeat - hot cocoa with marshmallows.

A Compliment

Jack and Elliot have been on a Star Spangled Banner singing kick recently. They learned the song from watching and attending Bruins games. They mostly walk around singing (as loudly as possible) the parts they know, and making up the rest. I felt like I should at least make sure they knew the right words. So, I taught them the lyrics, and explained a little bit about the history of the song, and what the words meant. Somewhere in that process I ended up singing along with them more times that I would like to admit. Elliot paid me the ultimate compliment. He told me that my voice is so beautiful, and I sing the song so well, that he things I should be the one to sing it at ALL the Bruins games!

And still more

Some recent works of art by Jack and Elliot. Click on any image to enlarge.

Gallery Additions

Raising to the Challenge

I had the pleasure to join two new moms' groups this year. The first was for new moms in general, where I happened to be the only non first-time mom in the group. Then later, I joined a second time mom's group, where I was the only mother of more than two in the group. At the first meeting of both groups, I introduced myself as a mother of four. Each time there was a quiet, but collective gasp, followed by lots of "wows". But, what I remember most was the look in the other mothers' eyes. They were looking for reassurance, for me to tell them, to promise them, that things would get easier. And it certainly does change quickly after those first few weeks with a newborn. But, I won't lie. I don't really think it gets easier. Theo, at 8 months, is the easiest child to parent in my house, and he has been since the day he was born. He doesn't talk. He doesn't run away. He doesn't fall down, limp on the floor wearing no clothes when we absolutely have to walk out the door in 60 seconds or less. He doesn't hit his brothers. He doesn't get detentions. He doesn't flood the house. He doesn't run out in front of traffic or forget to look when he's crossing the street. He's cheerful and happy, almost all of the time. He thanks me, with smiles and cuddles, for all of my hard work. And, he never misbehaves. Parenthood is a marathon, the likes of which I've never known. Part of the reason that it doesn't get easier is that it never stops. Every day my boys challenge me anew in ways I could never have dreamed of. Trying to figure out how to discipline a child in such a way that he is rewarded for good behavior, and punished for the bad, yet somehow gets from it what he needs to grow up to be happy, healthy and kind is so infinitely harder than trying to figure out whether your baby is tired or hungry, even at 2 o'clock in the morning. Parenting a child through their worst moments, when the bad things they do outnumber the good 10 to 1, with patience, fairness and love can bring me to me knees the way no sleepless night ever could. And the weight of guiding those babies to be happy, well-adjusted adults grows much, much heavier before it grows lighter. I don't know when it gets easier, or if it ever does. I'll keep reassuring the new moms I meet. I think they need it. I know I need it. I still have those new mommy moments myself. When I meet a mother whose children are grown, I can almost feel myself staring deep into her eyes for the same reassurance. If you're one of those moms, just promise me that it does.

Quote of the Day

This quote captured one of the essential truths of the parent-child relationship so perfectly. I was trying to convince Mattie to try something new at dinner last night. I took a sip of it, and told him how much I liked it. Then, we had the following exchange.

Mattie: I hate it!
Mama: Why?
Mattie: Because you like it!

Book of the Week

Both because I've been so bad about updating the Book of the Week this fall, and because Christmas is just 11 days away and there are so many Christmas books I love, I chose TWO books of the week this week.

The first one is Rosemary Wells' Morris' Disappearing Bag. I have loved this book since I was a little girl. (It came out in 1975.) It's a simple story of four siblings on Christmas morning. Each bunny child finds one gift under the tree. The three older siblings get toys that they each enjoy taking a turn with and sharing. Morris, the youngest bunny, gets a teddy bear. No one wants to play with his bear. All is quickly remedied, however, when Morris finds one more overlooked present under the tree -- a disappearing bag. This present is something everyone wants to take a turn with. Morris spends the rest of Christmas day not only enjoying his gift, but trying out his siblings' gifts as well. My favorite part of the story is hearing the explanation each of Morris' siblings comes up with to explain his disappearance when he tries out his bag. You'll have to read it to see what I mean!

My second pick is Babushka, by Sandra Ann Horn. This is a retelling of a Russian folk tale put out by Barefoot Books, one of my favorite children's publishers. Babushka is an old Russian woman who meets the wise men on their journey to see the newly born Christ child. Sadly, she is too busy cleaning to pay attention to the miraculous events going on around her. Eventually her eyes are opened and she sets out to meet the baby herself. In this version of the story, she gives away all of the presents she packed on her journey, and arrives at the stable empty handed. Afraid to enter without a gift, she turns around to go home. But, Mary beckons her forward and ushers her in to see the child. When she looks in to his eyes, not only does she forget all about her cleaning, but she sees that he is holding all of the gifts she gave away along the way. Mary tells her that everything she gave away with love, she also gave to her son. It's a beautifully illustrated retelling of the story, and reminds us all to put aside our trivial preoccupations and remember the true meaning of Christmas and life.

Do you have any favorite holiday books? I'm always looking for more, and would especially love to hear about any wonderful Hanukkah books. I would love to find something educational and informative (for someone not too familiar with Hanukkah traditions,) but also heart warming. My kids are very intrigued by the idea of eight days of presents!

The Flood

We've had some sort of mystery leak in the kids' bathroom this year, but last Thursday night, we had a flood there. And, unfortunately, it was man-made. Elliot and Jack started taking their showers and baths on their own this year. On Thursday, Elliot opted for bath, so I got him set up, turned on the water, and left the room. That's our usual routine. I go back and check on them a few minutes later to see if they've gotten around to cleaning any part of themselves, (which they never have.) But, before my first check, I heard Elliot calling for help... When I opened the bathroom door, I saw water pouring out over the side of the tub and onto the floor. There was almost an inch of water on the floor already, and the faucet was still all the way on, spewing out more by the second. I turned off the water and screamed for Ted (which is always the first thing I do in a crisis, and Ted's least favorite part of my personality,) threw all of our bath towels onto the floor, and ran downstairs. The boys' bathroom is on the 5th floor of our house. There are three more bathrooms stacked below theirs, and then the basement. I ran into our bathroom, which is the next one down. Water was pouring down through the ceiling. It looked like it was raining indoors. I threw more towels down on that floor, and continued downward. As I got to the landing of the stairs on our floor, I heard our doorbell buzzer. I cringed, because I knew instinctively that it must be our tenant from downstairs. I ran down to find water leaking into his apartment as well, mostly on the floor of his bedroom and on his bed. Disaster. Times three stories. Once we shut the water off, we were actually able to soak up the water on the floors pretty quickly. And it never did make it all the way down to the bottom bathroom or the basement. Almost as quickly as it started, the flood was over. Everything dried out, and we're just left with a few water stains on the bathroom ceilings. Oh, and 4 gigantic loads of wet towels, our tenant's dry-clean-only bedding, and the next day we realized that the water dripping through the walls had shorted out our other tenants' refrigerator. I asked Elliot what happened, and why he didn't turn the water off once the bath filled up. He shrugged his shoulders and said, "I didn't notice."

The Two Little Butterflies

I found this story discarded on the floor upstairs.

The Two Little Butterflies, by Elliot Bruntrager.
(Unedited.)

once upon a time there wer two little butterfly's they wer playing outside then one of them got stuck in the grass the other one helped him they kept walking until they saw a apple tree the flu (they flew) as fast has they could finally they got to the apple tree to get the rotten apple's they sucked the Juice Butterfly's like rotten fruit they wer very happy

Hat Trick, In Goal

Elliot finally got his chance to play goalie in their hockey game today. I knew from the moment he got all the pads on that it was not going to be as easy or fun as he had expected. It didn't help that the team's goalie equipment was at least two sizes too big for Elliot. But, he enjoyed it, despite the difficulty. In fact, he was not discouraged at all. He had a smile on his face throughout the entire game. He even asked if he could play goalie again. He let in about 6 goals, but also had that many saves. I think I may be investing in some goalie equipment soon. Jack played forward, scored the first goal of the game (about 30 seconds into it,) and then went on to score two more. This picture shows Jack taking a shot on Elliot during the pre-game warm up.

Signage

Walking by Jack and Elliot's bedroom door yesterday, something caught my eye. A handwritten sign had been posted there. Upon closer examination, I realized it was a do not enter sign. (Click on any picture to see a larger image.) Our house is still pretty much a privacy free zone (due to the fact that the kids never want any, and in fact strenuously object to it,) so I was a bit surprised to see the sign. Jack and Elliot do occasionally request a gate in their doorway when they're working on a large scale construction project and don't want Mattie to knock it down, but that didn't seem to be the case here. I opened the door and glanced in the room. There was no one there, and no obvious top secret project in the works, so I returned to my housework. A few hours later, I noticed that a second sign, in Elliot's handwriting this time, had been posted on top of the first. This sign was similarly intentioned, but again there were no signs of life or activity inside the room. At the time, everyone was playing very nicely together, so I didn't even bother asking about the signs. The only thing I stumbled across yesterday in their room that seemed like a potential treasure was a hand drawn map of a new world, invented by Jack. Perhaps he was planning a move there to escape his terrible parents. I'm still not sure whether they were aimed at Mattie, or Ted and me, but Mattie was as unconcerned as I was. Happily illiterate still, he went about his normal business all day yesterday, without even a glance in the direction of the signs.

The Saga of Bad Parenting

Ted and I are bad parents. We admit it.

We wake up every morning, spend time with the kids, make them breakfast, walk them to school. We pack their lunches, take them snacks, feed them three course, multi-color dinners with protein, fiber, and vegetables. Most weekday evenings we shuttle them to activities, watch them play sports, then get them home in time for homework, a bath, stories and a good night kiss. But, our kids are miserable. Our terrible parenting has really taken its toll. We don't buy them enough junk food. We make them stop eating their cereal when it's time to leave for school, leaving them to start their day starving. We don't let them watch tv every night, we don't buy them video game systems. We make them eat vegetables they hate and try new foods. The kids complain non-stop. They tell us what a bad job we're doing. They cry whenever we tell them NO. Despite the fact that nothing has changed -- their life has always been like this, they ask daily for the forbidden fruit, and sob when it isn't handed to them on their plate.

This is our saga of bad parenting. After seemingly years of frustration, Ted and I have decided that we give our kids too much. That's the only explanation we can come up with for our "terrible" parenting. So, we've decided to actually become bad parents, in the hopes of being "good" parents. We're going to make a point to give the kids less to lower the bar. Perhaps if their expectations decrease, they'll actually appreciate things more. All right, who am I kidding? I'm sure it won't change their reaction at all, but at least we'll feel better about what we are giving the kids. There's little joy in saying yes to a pack of bubble gum, which is savored for five quick minutes, but leads to 15 minute temper tantrums for the next seven days when the answer is no. If the kids don't like it, they're always free to try things out elsewhere. Hockey practice is one of the places we are faced with frequent meltdowns. You see, we don't buy them bags of potato chips or candy from the vending machines after practice. Instead we drag them home for a hot, homemade family dinner. It's awful. Ted keeps offering to ask one of the other families if Jack and Elliot can go home with them, a vending machine buying family perhaps. But, so far, their answer is always no.

Road Trip

The book I've been reading says that traveling across the country in a minivan is "the ultimate family bonding experience." If that's so, I've done some major bonding over the last few weeks with mine. We covered 900 miles of road last week, from Boston to PA, then VA, and back again. We loaded up the minivan with a dozen bags, 6 people, 3 bikes, 2 strollers, and one car top carrier. Here are some of those memorable moments.

Jack and Elliot were once again enthralled with Uncle Bill's Rock Band game. They couldn't get enough playing time. The most surprising and fun part of it for me, was realizing how well they were actually able to sing and play the drums. Their favorite songs were Eye of the Tiger, Hungry Like the Wolf, and Psycho Killer. Walking downstairs to find Elliot belting out the tune and Jack playing the drums was priceless. It also made them seem suddenly very grown up.

I also got to hear lots of stories from my verbose brood . Elliot shared some future plans with me. When he grows up, he's looking forward to being a lifeguard in Seaside Park, NJ. He plans to spend his summers there, and then buy a winter house in Princeton when he's 16, "because (he's) already in NJ." At first he told me he intended to work as a "business man" during the winter, until a new idea occurred to him suddenly. His new idea? To work at a "general store" for the winter. According to Elliot, "people need more food in winter, because it's cold and you can't pick things." But, he wanted my reassurance that, working in a general store, he could still have Saturdays and Sundays off so that he could make waffles for breakfast, and sometimes grits and bacon.

Jack, though not thinking about his future career so much, was also full of questions about other potential future plans. He wanted to know all about building and designing houses. Apparently he was doing research for his dream house. I found him drawing up the plans after we got home. (Click on either image to see them in larger scale.)

We made most of the 11+ hour drive home listening to Christmas carols and talking about our plans to put up our tree. We also made sure to take a few short breaks to practice singing Hungry Like the Wolf and Eye of the Tiger.

Why Did the Turkey Cross the Road?

We are in Berwyn right now, for a pre-Thanksgiving visit with my parents. I love it when my kids spend time with their grandparents. They all enjoy it so much, that I can step back and just be a casual observer for a change! Ahhhhh... For a special treat today, my dad took the day off, and we all went to the Crayola Factory. Everyone had a great time. (I highly recommend it if you're passing through PA.) One of the things the boys enjoy sharing with Pop Pop is jokes. My father, like his father, has a great sense of humor, and loves telling jokes. My memory of my grandfather is that he was always doing one of two things - humming or chuckling. He walked around the house telling jokes, reading jokes, or recalling them to himself. He liked corny jokes, and also jokes with puns or other plays on words. My father is the same. So, it was no surprise to find our lunchtime conversation at the museum today turned to joke telling. Armed with some puns they read recently in a Thanksgiving joke book , my kids joined right in the fun. Here are a few of my favorites, plus the ones the kids really wanted me to include:

Pop Pop:
Why did the turkeys at the baseball game stand up and start dancing?
Because the umpire said it was a fowl ball!

Jack:
Why did the turkey cross the playground?
To get to the other slide!

Elliot:
Why are there the most turkeys in Florida?
Because it is the key state!

Jack:
Why did the turkey take a key to Florida?
Because Florida has the Keys and he is a turKEY!

Elliot:
Why did the turkey go off the field?
To catch a fowl ball!

Pop Pop also shared this joke with us, which was one of his father's favorites, and the only three word pun he had ever heard. It's more of a word riddle, but here it is:
A woman had three sons. They started a cattle ranch. What did they decide to call it?
FOCUS - a place where the sun's rays meet (and the sons raise meat!)

Wishing you all lots of laughter with your families! Happy Thanksgiving!

New to the Gallery...

Elliot has been busy creating lately. He has a wonderful art teacher at his new school. Here are some things which have come home recently. You can click on any of the pictures to see a larger image.


My favorite part of the picture above is the scrollwork on his name. He's created his own font! It reminds me of the doodles Jack always worked on, but this is the first time I've ever seen Elliot do anything like it. Ahhhh... I love his new school!


Elliot has also been inspired poetically...


This first poem reads:
My family went out to play
on a sunny sunny sunny day
and this is the place id like to stay
on a sunny sunny sunny day.

The next day, he wrote a contrasting sequel, published in book format. The front cover says:
My poem
on the back
Elliot.













The poem itself reads:
My family went in to play
on a rainny rainny rainny day
and inside is the place id like to play
on a rainny rainny rainny day.
I wated for the rain to stop
and finally it was at an end
the rain had stopped hooray hooray
and finally i could play outside
on a sunny sunny sunny day.
The End.

And the back cover says:
To mom and dad
From Elliot
I love mom and dad
The end

The Calm After the Storm

There are so many things going on at our house right now. We have roofers here. A new tenant is moving in downstairs. My new housekeeper and I are still figuring out how to best work together. A new dishwasher is sitting outside in my trunk, waiting to be installed. Life is crazy. I feel crazed. At times like these, my instinct is to keep looking straight ahead and push through the chaos, waiting for the calm after the storm. Just a few more days, I tell myself. Just get through this, and things will settle down. But, in reality, they never do. Sure, the roofers will be done, the tenant moved in, Miriam and I will settle into a comfortable routine, the dishwasher will get put in. But by then, there will be new things, other things. I have to remind myself that life with four young children is busy. It's messy. It's complicated. It's hectic. It's unexpected. And it's what I wished for with all my heart. Somehow, I have to change my automated response. I need to stop holding my breath, stop waiting for that elusive calm. I need to learn to relax in the midst of the chaos. When I focus on and hold out for the future, I miss out on today. So, now, when I feel myself drifting into autopilot, I tell myself to focus on the moment, the here and now. This is the calm. Those moments I've been waiting for are right here, all around me. And through that, I relax and embrace this busy little life that is my own. There are so many sweet moments to enjoy, if only I remember to stop and take them in.

A roster a day...

Jack and Elliot are once again fully engrossed in hockey. The Minnehaha Mosquitoes play daily. This keeps Jack very busy, working on their team roster and setting up their lines. The backyard has been reconfigured to accommodate fantasy games, where they play for every member of their team. Our small patio is just the right size for a one-on-one game, complete with blue recycling bin goals. And homework always gets done faster when there is a saved game just waiting to be watched.

Last night the boys went to a Bruins game with Ted. It was the first Bruins' win in any of the games they've attended this season. It was an exciting night, but that wasn't all. As one of their season ticket perks, they were invited to take a shot on goal out on the ice, after the game was over. Then, today, they played in their own first official hockey game. The Dorchester Chiefs took on Weymouth's Mighty Mites. It was a close game. They were edged out 6-5, but, both Jack and Elliot scored a goal! Both boys were incredibly excited to be playing an actual hockey game. And even though their team didn't win, they walked off the ice smiling ear to ear, already making plans for next weekend!

Elliot's Money

Someday Elliot is going to make a wonderful accountant, investor, philanthropist...

or bank robber.

Elliot loves money. It's not about buying things, or spending it, or even saving it. Elliot just loves having money. He steals it from on top of Ted's dresser. He keeps his eyes on the ground at all times in public, ever searching for lost coins. And, yes, he even sleeps with it.

I'm constantly amazed by how often he seems to have some amount of change tucked in his pockets. He often offers it to me in stores, when it's time to pay. One day, I turned around to check why he had fallen behind, and happened to catch him giving his coins to a beggar on the street. He's not a hoarder. He parts with his money as readily as he collects it. But, still he can't seem to get enough of it.

The boys recently participated in a Cub Scout fundraiser. Their Pack sold popcorn. The boys set up a table outside of a store, and were instructed to introduce themselves to shoppers, and offer their popcorn for sale. Neither Jack nor Elliot had much enthusiasm for this endeavor, until Elliot realized that, if successful, he would be collecting cold, hard cash. He immediately warmed up to the job. Ted said that he did an excellent job, until people took out their wallets, whereupon Elliot grabbed their money, right out of their hands!

Peek-a-boo!

Look what Theo learned to do.
Watch him playing Peek-a-boo!