The Saga of Bad Parenting

Ted and I are bad parents. We admit it.

We wake up every morning, spend time with the kids, make them breakfast, walk them to school. We pack their lunches, take them snacks, feed them three course, multi-color dinners with protein, fiber, and vegetables. Most weekday evenings we shuttle them to activities, watch them play sports, then get them home in time for homework, a bath, stories and a good night kiss. But, our kids are miserable. Our terrible parenting has really taken its toll. We don't buy them enough junk food. We make them stop eating their cereal when it's time to leave for school, leaving them to start their day starving. We don't let them watch tv every night, we don't buy them video game systems. We make them eat vegetables they hate and try new foods. The kids complain non-stop. They tell us what a bad job we're doing. They cry whenever we tell them NO. Despite the fact that nothing has changed -- their life has always been like this, they ask daily for the forbidden fruit, and sob when it isn't handed to them on their plate.

This is our saga of bad parenting. After seemingly years of frustration, Ted and I have decided that we give our kids too much. That's the only explanation we can come up with for our "terrible" parenting. So, we've decided to actually become bad parents, in the hopes of being "good" parents. We're going to make a point to give the kids less to lower the bar. Perhaps if their expectations decrease, they'll actually appreciate things more. All right, who am I kidding? I'm sure it won't change their reaction at all, but at least we'll feel better about what we are giving the kids. There's little joy in saying yes to a pack of bubble gum, which is savored for five quick minutes, but leads to 15 minute temper tantrums for the next seven days when the answer is no. If the kids don't like it, they're always free to try things out elsewhere. Hockey practice is one of the places we are faced with frequent meltdowns. You see, we don't buy them bags of potato chips or candy from the vending machines after practice. Instead we drag them home for a hot, homemade family dinner. It's awful. Ted keeps offering to ask one of the other families if Jack and Elliot can go home with them, a vending machine buying family perhaps. But, so far, their answer is always no.