Jack and Elliot participated in their Cub Scout Pack's annual Pinewood Derby Race this past weekend. I had my first experience with the whole Derby last year. If you've never participated in (or watched) one, suffice to say it's amazing. The kids work very hard (with a parent) to make their cars, and the race is fast, frenzied and fun! Quite unexpectedly, we turned out two champion race cars. Jack and Elliot both won first place for their age group. And, Jack took first place overall, and Elliot 4th. We didn't do anything remarkably different from last year, when Jack's car won its first race, then lost the next two, knocking it out of competition. Jack and Elliot were thrilled with their success, and we brought home our first (truly earned) Bruntrager family trophy.
As a parent, there's nothing greater than watching your child succeed and win, especially after hard work. But, unfortunately, things don't always go that way. As high as the Pinewood Derby win lifted Jack on Saturday, hockey try-outs knocked him down just as low last night. Jack has had a long and rewarding season this winter on an instructional team. This last week of ice time is devoted to "trying out" for next season. (There are no cuts; they place the kids on A, B, or C level teams, based on ability.) He's graduating from the instructional team, and joining the regular, age-divided "Squirt" team next year. Last night, Jack got out there on the ice, and was clearly the worst skater of the group. He lagged behind the other kids in the drills, and had trouble completing some of the skating challenges at all. He came off the ice sad, frustrated, and demoralized. Hockey is Jack's favorite thing. It means more to him than anything else right now. The look in his eyes after try-outs broke my heart.
I know that there are important lessons to be learned both from winning and losing. I know that both experiences build character, and help us grow stronger and wiser. But, as a mother, I still wish that I could protect Jack from the pain of loss. I look at Theo, so sweet, and happy, and perfect in his innocence. I can hold him and rock him, and kiss away his sadness and wounds. But, already Jack is moving beyond my grasp. I can still hold him, telling him everything will be alright. But, he will carry with him the memories and scars from his falls now. Sometimes I think about the future. Jack and I move together into the world of adolescence, experiencing it both as a mother and a child for the first time. The try-outs offered me a glimpse into what our future holds. I'm reminded yet again, that while some things about parenting get easier as your child grows, some aspects of it get much more difficult. I know the hurts will get deeper, and the falls will get harder. I'm not looking forward to them. I hope that Jack weathers them well, and that I will always find a way to love and uplift him. And I hope for many more wins in his life, along with the losses.
As a parent, there's nothing greater than watching your child succeed and win, especially after hard work. But, unfortunately, things don't always go that way. As high as the Pinewood Derby win lifted Jack on Saturday, hockey try-outs knocked him down just as low last night. Jack has had a long and rewarding season this winter on an instructional team. This last week of ice time is devoted to "trying out" for next season. (There are no cuts; they place the kids on A, B, or C level teams, based on ability.) He's graduating from the instructional team, and joining the regular, age-divided "Squirt" team next year. Last night, Jack got out there on the ice, and was clearly the worst skater of the group. He lagged behind the other kids in the drills, and had trouble completing some of the skating challenges at all. He came off the ice sad, frustrated, and demoralized. Hockey is Jack's favorite thing. It means more to him than anything else right now. The look in his eyes after try-outs broke my heart.
I know that there are important lessons to be learned both from winning and losing. I know that both experiences build character, and help us grow stronger and wiser. But, as a mother, I still wish that I could protect Jack from the pain of loss. I look at Theo, so sweet, and happy, and perfect in his innocence. I can hold him and rock him, and kiss away his sadness and wounds. But, already Jack is moving beyond my grasp. I can still hold him, telling him everything will be alright. But, he will carry with him the memories and scars from his falls now. Sometimes I think about the future. Jack and I move together into the world of adolescence, experiencing it both as a mother and a child for the first time. The try-outs offered me a glimpse into what our future holds. I'm reminded yet again, that while some things about parenting get easier as your child grows, some aspects of it get much more difficult. I know the hurts will get deeper, and the falls will get harder. I'm not looking forward to them. I hope that Jack weathers them well, and that I will always find a way to love and uplift him. And I hope for many more wins in his life, along with the losses.
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