Growing Up

It's been 2 1/2 months since my last blog entry. I had no intention of taking the summer off, but apparently that's what happened. We've had an incredibly busy summer. We visited family, went to the beach and Spain. While I was MIA, the kids have been busy growing up, as usual. We celebrated two birthdays. Jack turned 9; Elliot turned 7. I feel like I can handle 7 pretty well. After all, I've had a seven year old before. But, nine, that's a different story. Somehow, it feels like I've been preoccupied by pregnancies or a new baby for so long now, that Jack went and grew up while my back was turned. He graduated to riding in the car without a booster seat this summer. He measures slightly over 54" tall. Less than one foot separates us in height. He plays out in the alley alone, and was allowed to roam the neighborhood by himself for the first time this week. Increasingly, I find myself looking at him in awe. How did he get to be so big? How have nine years gone by so quickly? How much more time do I have before he's gone, ensconced in a world of friends, or moved away to school? Thankfully, he's still more little boy than big one. He still likes to hold my hand. He still waits for a kiss good night and to be tucked in. He looks for my permission before doing just about anything. But, somehow, without the tunnel vision focus of surviving a pregnancy or new baby, I have felt just the tiniest bit of heartache when I look at the boys this summer. I find myself trying to take every moment in and savor it, before it disappears. I feel like I have to hold on at all costs, lest another nine years pass by in the blink of an eye...