Time for a Hot Bath

The last few weeks have been hard. I think probably the hardest ones I can remember since Jack was a newborn. I'm exhausted and overwhelmed, overworked and frustrated. Everyone kindly asks us about the boys' school situation. Telling the story so often, I'm starting to depress myself! I came home from drop offs this morning, excited by the prospect of a few quiet hours at home. I quickly nursed Theo and tucked him in bed, threw some clothes in the wash, checked my email, and decided the perfect respite from all this stress was a hot bath. I filled up our tub, grabbed a book, and hopped in. The sun was streaming in through the window. I was watching the leaves blowing on the trees, and the clouds moving across the sky. I had three beautiful minutes. Then, I heard a noise. I stupidly forgot to bring the baby monitor into the bathroom. I couldn't tell if I was hearing something outside, or Theo crying in the distance, through two closed doors. I waited, not hearing anything for a few seconds. Then, it started again. I hadn't even had time to wash myself off or get my hair wet. What to do? Anger welled up inside me, as it always does when life seems to be asking more of me than I can give. I decided to jump out of the bath quickly, without draining the tub, and see if it was Theo. It was. After only a few minutes of sleep, his bad cold had woken him up. He was crying with what little voice he has left at this point, desperately trying to catch his breath through his stuffed up nose. I brought his infant seat into the bathroom and plopped him in it. He cried for a moment, but seemed content to have me talking to him from a few feet away. I jumped back in the bath, and quickly washed myself off. Then I picked Theo up and brought him into the bath with me. He was afraid for just a moment, then relaxed in my arms. We stayed in the tub for at least a half an hour, playing, talking and just cuddling together. It wasn't the long, quiet bath alone I had dreamed about that morning, but it was just as relaxing, and a thousand times more memorable. Without even a diaper on, Theo seemed so small. Holding him naked against my bare chest brought back the same feelings of amazement and love from the delivery room. It was a surprisingly special moment, a serendipitous reward, a memory I'll always treasure.