Our Daily Bread

I love cooking. And bread baking. Both serve as wonderful creative outlets for me. I am not referring to being inventive or artistic, but to the deeper physical and spiritual sense of formation. I find that I have a unquenchable need to create, to produce something tangible with my hands. I fill that need in many different ways, often making a quilt, a crocheted blanket, or something edible. But bread is not only magical to watch take form, it also nourishes the body and mind. It holds within it elements of science and nature, physical nourishment for the body, and a link to our cultural history. I take immense pleasure in kneading the dough with my hands, feeling connected to the food I eat and to so many woman throughout history. The world of bread also offers a glimpse into the vast and infinite, offering as many possible recipes and techniques to fill every day of a lifetime. Do I need to go on? I am clearly nuts about baking bread!

I made my first loaf of bread on July 7th, 2008. I was at my in-laws' house in Virginia, and I made two loaves of deliciously dense 100% whole wheat bread. My wonderful mother-in-law (who also taught me how to quilt) served as my first bread baking teacher. With her help and encouragement (not to mention supplies and kitchen!) I tried my hand at bread baking. She got out one of her old favorite bread cookbooks (now MY favorite bread cookbook as well.) She had kept wonderful notes in the margins of the book, noting when she had tried a recipe and how it had turned out, and encouraged me to add to her notes. I couldn't believe how easy it was. The experience was so fulfilling and the results were so delicious, that I was hooked at once! I tried a second recipe the next day. (Note, it also helps to have a large family on hand when baking huge quantities of bread, or a very large freezer! We had about 17 people gathered together that weekend. My loaves were devoured as quickly as they came out of the oven.) My mother sent me home with her cookbook, and I've been joyfully baking bread ever since, jotting down my notes and comments alongside of my mother-in-law's. The cookbook and the skill I acquired are both treasures.

But, here's the reason I'm blogging on and on about bread. I made four loaves of Pumpkin Cider bread on Tuesday. I gave several loaves away and shared some photos of my creations, arousing quite a bit of interest among my friends in this topic. So, at their request, I'm publishing a few recipes here, along with some general tips. I'm also planning a big bread baking day at my house in a week or two, so let me know if you're interested in joining us.

Here are some basic bread baking tips.
1. Measure exactly. This is especially important when starting out. One secrets to the magical rising of bread is getting the right proportion of wet to dry ingredients, as well as having enough sugar vs salt to allow the yeast to grow rapidly. Once you're more experienced, feel free to experiment!
2. Have all your ingredients at room temp (also ok to be slightly warmer) before starting. Yeast needs a warm enviroment to grow. Ice cold flour straight out of the freezer, or cold butter inhibit growth. This shouldn't make your recipe flop, but will dramatically increase the rising time.
3. Find a nice warm place to let your dough rise. I use my oven. Some ovens have a "proof" setting, which is perfect for bread rising. But, don't worry if yours doesn't have that. Mine doesn't. I put my dough in and turn the oven on to 350 for about 30 seconds. This is just enough to get the heating element warm. Then, I turn the oven off again. The small amount of heat left in the oven is just right to keep the yeast warm and happy. I have read about other bakers using a heating pad on low setting underneath their bowl. In the summer, a sunny coutertop is probably warm enough. Whatever works.
4. Be patient! Sometime dough rises very quickly. Other times is rises very slowly. But, it always rises. If it doesn't look ready, leave it alone, but don't lose faith.
5. Proof your yeast. More details on this later.
6. Use bread flour instead of white flour. Bread flour has more gluten, and helps work with the yeast to produce an easier, faster, more consistent rise, in my opinion. I use it in place of white flour in most of my recipes. I have found it in my local supermarkets alongside the regular flours. I still use plain old whole wheat flour when called for.

Yeast:
This is the magical ingredient that makes bread what it is. I prefer (and recommend) using active dry yeast. I do not recommend "fast acting" yeast. Active dry yeast is also available in regular grocery stores, and normally comes either in a 3 pack of single serving envelopes, or a small jar. For conversion purposes, one package of yeast is 2 1/4 teaspoons. Yeast should be stored in the refrigerator until baking time. I do not worry about warming the yeast to room temp before baking, as I always add it to warm water. Active dry yeast should be "proofed" before mixing it into your dough. Proofing is another word for activating, or waking up your yeast. Yeast sort of hibernates in cool temps, and will wake up and start eating (and producing oxygen) when warmed. So, the first step when making bread should be to proof your yeast. To do so, mix it in with a small quantity (I usually use 1-2 cups) of warm liquid and some small amount of sugar from the recipe. The liquid should be about 100-120 degrees F. This is about the temp of a warm to hot bath. It should be warm to the touch, but not burn your skin. This wakes up the yeast. Then, the sugar provides something for the yeast to eat. Sugar can be in the form of honey, sugar, brown sugar, molasses, maple syrup, etc., depending on your specific recipe. Mix the sugar into the warm liquid, then stir the yeast in gently. After about 5-8 minutes, you should see foam on top of the liquid. This means the yeast has starting working already, and is ready to be mixed into your dough!

Order of ingredients:
After proofing the yest, I usually add all of the liquid ingredients, plus the sugar(s) and salt into my mixer. I use a Cuisinart XL stand mixer to do all of the mixing, and some of the kneading. If you use an electric mixer, make sure to use the dough hook attachment. You should also make sure not to exceed the maximum flour guidelines for your size mixer, or you are likely to burn out the motor. I mix the wet ingredients in the mixer, and then add the flour one cup at a time until the dough is fairly stiff and well mixed. Sometimes, especially if I am making an all or mostly whole wheat recipe, or a very large recipe, I have to add the last cup or so of flour while kneading by hand. The right consistency of the dough is wet enough that it holds together (sort of like soft play doh,) but not so wet that it is sticky. Don't worry, this is not a perfect science! Once the ingredients are well mixed, the dough needs to be kneaded for about 8-10 minutes. I usually let the dough hook do the first 5 or so minutes, and then take the dough over to my kitchen table, and knead the dough right on the floured table top. My mixer cannot handle dough that is too dry, so I often find that it looks great in the mixer, but feels too sticky when I get it over to the table. If that is the case, I knead a little bit more flour into the dough. Once it is well kneaded, I put it back into the large mixer bowl (which I have greased in the meantime,) and put it in my slightly warm oven to rise.

Knead Rise Repeat:
So, while every recipe has it's own instructions (which I may or may not follow,) there are some basic steps to making all yeast bread. They are:
1. Mix ingredients.
2. Knead bread.
3. First rise.
4. Punch down. (Which means knead risen dough for 1-2 minutes.)
5. Second rise.
6. Bake.
7. Cool and eat!!!
With a few rare exceptions, you can follow these basic steps and instructions for all yeast breads. I find that the actual bread making time is usually around 4 hours from start to finish, but the actual work time is about 30 minutes.

Tap Tap Tap
The only other tip I can think of to pass along is how to tell when your bread is done. The standard "test" for bread doneness is to take the loaf out of the oven, invert it, and tap on the bottom of the loaf. If it sounds hollow, it is done. The great thing about bread baking is that it is very forgiving. If you're not sure if it's done, test it. If it's not done, put it back in. You will not have a problem taking the bread out and putting it back in, even several times.

There is certainly a lot more to know and learn, but most of the knowledge and comfort just comes from practice. I've certainly written enough already. So get out your bread pans, and start baking! Here are the recipes:

Whole Wheat Dinner Rolls
(15 rolls)

I have been making these for dinner about once a week lately. I love that they take only a little more than an hour to make from start to finish!

1 c warm water
2 T butter or margarine
1 egg
2 c bread flour
1 1/4 c whole wheat flour
1/4 c sugar
1 t salt
3 t active dry yeast

Combine water, margarine and 1 spoonful of sugar. Gently stir in yeast. Allow yeast to proof in warm water for 5 minutes. Pour water mixture into mixing bowl. Add remaining sugar, egg and salt. Gently stir ingredients. Add flour one cup at a time until thoroughly mixed. Turn out onto a lightly floured surface and knead for 8-10 minutes. Grease mixing bowl. Place dough in bowl, turning to cover all sides. Cover with a towel, and allow to rest for 10-15 minutes. Grease bottom and sides of 9x13" pan. Divide dough into 15 equal pieces. Shape each piece into a ball. Place in pan, three across and 5 down the length of the pan. Cover and place in a warm place for 30-60 minutes, or until double in size. Dough is ready if indentation remains when touched. Bake at 375 for 12-15 minutes, or until golden brown. Cool on wire rack. (I have also made this recipe with 8-9 larger rolls instead of 12 smaller ones. When larger, they make perfect hamburger or sandwich rolls. :-) )

Honey Oatmeal  Bread
(2 loaves)
A delicious all purpose bread.

2 c boiling water
1/2 c honey
2 T butter or margarine
2 t salt
1 c uncooked rolled oats
1 pkg active dry yeast
1/4 lukewarm water
3 c whole wheat flour
1 1/2 to 2 c bread flour

In a large bowl, stir together boiling water, honey, butter, salt and rolled oats. Let stand one hour. In a small bowl, dissolve the yeast in the lukewarm water. Add to the oat mixture. Stir in 1 cup of flour at a time. Mix well. Turn out onto a lightly floured surface and knead until elastic (about 10 minutes.)Place dough in a greased bowl. Turn to coat top of dough and cover with a towel. Place in a warm spot and allow to double in bulk, about 1 to 1 1/2 hours. Turn out onto a floured surface and knead for 1-2 minutes. Divide dough and place into 2 greased loaf pans. Cover and place in a warm place until almost doubled in bulk. (About 45 minutes.) Bake at 350 for 40-50 minutes. Tops should be browned, and the bottom should sound hollow when tapped.  Cool completely on a wire rack before slicing.

Anadama Bread
(2 loaves)

This is one of my family's favorites! I love this darker, denser loaf. I think it makes great toast, or sandwiches. And it is excellent for dipping in soups or stews!

7 c flour (I used half bread flour, and half whole wheat flour)
1 1/2 c cornmeal
2 1/2 t salt
1/3 c softened butter or margarine
2 pkgs dry yeast
2 1/4 c very warm water
2/3 c molasses

Combine the molasses and water in a large bowl. Gently stir in the yeast. Allow to proof for 5 minutes. Add the butter, salt and cornmeal, mixing well. Gnely add the flour 1 cup at a time. Mix thoroughly. Follow the kneading and rising instructions as above. First rise should take 45 - 60 minutes. Second rise should take about an hour. Bake at 375 for 45 minutes, or until bread tests done.

Pumpkin Cider Bread
(4 loaves)

I recommend dividing this in half if you only have one standard sized oven. It's a huge recipe, and it's more challenging trying to cook 4 loaves evenly in one oven at the same time. It's also a lot of dough to mix and knead! This is a very light and fairly sweet recipe. I prefer darker, sourer loaves, but I got raving reviews from the friends that I passed this to. I think it would make great french toast!

1 qt cider
1/4 lb (1/2 cup) butter
1/2 c maple syrup
1 c cooked pumpkin
1 t salt
2 pkg dry yeast
1 c whole wheat flour
1 c cornmeal
10 c bread flour
(I used 2 c whole wheat and 8 c bread flour)

Follow directions as above: Heat cider, add yeast to proof. Mix remaining ingredients except flour. Add flour 1 cup at a time. Turn out on floured surface to knead, etc... Bake at 350 for 50-55 minutes. Tap for doneness.

Tapping Out

I just wanted to share these photos again. We went maple tree tapping back in early February, in Weston, MA. We were volunteering with Lands' Sake farm, where we were CSA members last summer. Except for the bitter cold, we had a great time. We were assigned to tap trees in an old cemetery in Weston. I believe we tapped about 12 trees. Each tree got 2-3 taps, depending on its size. The middle school students in Weston help the farm staff empty the buckets weekly, and then the farm turns the sap into maple syrup in an old sugaring house located on the property of the Weston Middle School. All of my kids love maple syrup, and Elliot is particularly interested in how it is made. We've studied how it is made from tree sap, but we had never before participated in any of the process. I couldn't have been happier that day. We were outside, learning something very interesting, scientific and historical, and working to help harvest a delicious local, natural food. Plus we were having FUN together!

To see the whole album from that day, click here.

Mondays with Mom Day, or Captain Mattie

Mattie goes to school three days a week. Mondays and Fridays he's home with me and Theo. My housekeeper works on Mondays, so I usually leave Theo (mostly asleep) with her, and take Mattie out for a special Monday with Mom Day. We've been taking a tumbling class, so this week we headed there. Afterward we stopped at Whole Foods for a very sweet one on one grocery shopping trip. I enjoyed it even more because Mattie accompanied me in full pirate regalia - hat, vest and wooden hook. He had been wearing the costume for 24 hours straight at that point, but I still couldn't help smiling every time I looked at him. He was acting so normally, as if he had been a pirate since the day he was born. There's something about that genuine naturalness (is that a word?) that just makes you smile! It was infectious too - he had many other people smiling in the store as well.

After our gymnastics and grocery shopping, we headed home for a relaxing cup of pirate tea. While he enjoyed a few brief hours as a witch yesterday, it was the pirate's life for him again this morning. And I dropped him off at school with it still on.

Silence

Silence is golden, even in the blogging world sometimes. I've taken some time off from blogging lately in the hopes of finding more of the elusive things in life: free time, rest, quiet moments, playtime with the kids, reading time. It definitely worked. I've managed to be in bed most nights with the lights out by 10:30. Getting 8 hours of sleep at night feels amazing. And, I've enjoyed many quiet moments, alone and with the kids. But even thought there have been more moments for savoring things, life continues on at the same quick pace. Here's what we've been doing...

Theo crawls speedily all over the house. He's learned how to climb stairs, pulls himself up on everything, and even cruises around a little. He has a habit of disappearing, silently, as soon as I take my eyes off of him. If I put him down on the floor of his bedroom and carry the laundry into the laundry room, he's gone before I return. Sometimes he races to check if the bathroom door was left open by chance. Other times he speeds into Elliot and Mattie's room to check out what's been left under the beds. He's gotten three new teeth over the last ten days. Added to the two he had, he's starting to have a very toothy grin! He seems to be stuck in a terrible sickness rut, getting a new cold every 10-14 days. I guess it's not surprisingly when you have three older brothers at two different schools, but it's not fun. He had his first mild ear infection last week, which kept him up most of one night. But, his illnesses haven't manged to slow down his growth at all. He's moving up into the next size of clothes AGAIN. He's become very interactive, and clearly understands what we say and what's going on around him. He threw his first temper tantrum two weeks ago, in the bath. He is also copying many of our sounds, and will repeat things like "hi" and "bow wow" back to us when we say them. I know he's watching everything we do, and taking it all in. Whenever he finds a ball, he looks at me (just to make sure I'm watching,) and then throws it, something no one has "taught" him to do. I also found him on the floor this morning with a small indoor hockey stick and a puck. He had crawled around and picked up both items intentionally. He was pushing the puck around the floor with the stick. He puts everything into his mouth. He can often be found sitting silently under the dining room table eating teensy crumbs off the floor. He loves to find paper or tissue to snack on as well. We finally moved him out of his infant seat and into a big carseat last week. He's loving that! He has a much better view of his brothers, and everything that's going on in the car now. I'm still struggling to get him to eat much in the way of solid foods, but with his exponential growth, we're not worried. And, despite his increased mobility, he is still happiest in our arms (or on someone's back.)

To be continued...

Déjà Vu

(Written Monday.) As sometimes happens in life, we had the pleasure of repeating a not so enjoyable experience today. Mattie pulled the tape off of his stitches tonight. With it came three of his five stitches. So, off we headed to the ER. Again. It's really not a bad place to be, it's just that it takes such a long time. We end up sitting here for hours, for just a few minutes worth of work. But, when you have kids, you have to just roll with it. And so, I found myself sitting in ER room 5 with Mattie once again. We blew more bubbles, we watched more tv, we got more stitches. We even had several of the same staff people working with us. This time I had them put in nylon (rather than dissolvable) stitches, in the hopes that we won't go for yet another repeat visit. As we set out in the car tonight, it was already dark out. Mattie immediately started looking for the moon again. When we couldn't see it through the clouds, he said, "I think the moon will growl at the clouds. He will surely scare them away, right?" I should have known it was going to be one of those evenings as soon as he spoke...

Stitches

I love three day weekends. It's having that extra day - the one I feel like I always need, but never get.  This time around, I busied myself baking "Bakery Style Cinnamon Rolls" yesterday, and 4 loaves of wheat germ bread today. Ted sweetly, and as he often does, took all three boys down to Hingham for Jack's and Elliot's weekly hockey game this morning. I enjoyed a very quiet morning at home while Theo napped. I had just put the wheat germ bread into the oven for the second rise, when the phone rang. It was Ted, calling to let me know that the boys had won their game 9-5, and they were on their way home. Elliot, as goalie, had made many more saves than last time, and was extremely happy with his performance. (He wore his new goalie pads for the first time this weekend.) Oh, and Ted just wanted to give me a heads' up that they had some great plans for us for the rest of the afternoon. One of us was going to get to take Mattie to the ER for stitches in his forehead. Apparently Mattie was running around the lobby of the rink while his brothers were playing their game. He ran right into a door, which someone was opening from the other side. He caught the metal edge of the door right in the middle of his forehead.

The boys came home, and I took Mattie to the ER. Luckily, our local children's hospital is fantastic. My kids actually love to go there. I packed some chocolate milk and a special pretzel necklace, and Mattie went happily to get his boo-boo all "healed off". Besides being stuck there for almost 6 hours, we had a great experience. Mattie was a perfect patient. He happily watched a video (held right over his head by one of the Child Life specialists at the hospital) while they sewed up his head. On the way home he asked me lots of questions about whether his boo-boo would hurt again, and whether it was going to heal off in a few days. I assured him that the doctors at the hospital had fixed it all up. We were at the hospital for such a long time, that it was night by the time we left. Mattie was pretty surprised to see it was dark out already. We had a very cute conversation on the way home.

Mattie: Is it nighttime already?
Mama: Yes, it's dark out, isn't it?
Mattie: Is it time to go to bed?
Mama: It will be when we get home.
Mattie: The moon must be out because it's nighttime. Where's the moon? I can't see it.
Mama: Oh, it's cloudy and rainy out tonight, so I don't think we'll be able to see the moon, even if it is out. The moon is always there, but we can't always see it. Sometimes it's hiding, or the clouds are in the way.
Mattie: Do you like the clouds?
Mama: No, I don't like the clouds. I like the sunshine much better.
Mattie: I don't like the clouds either. The moon will surely growl loudly and scare the clouds away, right? I think it will.
Mama: Yes, probably. Maybe we'll see the moon tomorrow.
Mattie: I think we will.

After that, he came home very happy to be all fixed up, and clutching the new blue light up ball they sent him home with in his hand.

Click on any of the images to see them larger. His cut doesn't look nearly as open or deep in the photos as it did in real life! He got 5 small stitches hidden under the steri-strips. Oh, and he loved his pony tail. He called it a dinosaur horn. I put it in during our consult with the plastic surgeon so that I could use both hands to push the wound closed. He liked it so much, he didn't want me to take it out. You can also tell what a great time he had today by the look on his face in all the photos.

Book of the Week

I pulled an old favorite book off our bookshelf the other day, and have been delighting in it anew with the kids every day this week. It is A Child's Anthology of Poetry, edited by Elizabeth Hauge Sword. I found this book when Jack was 4, and I was on a quest to find some of the classic old poems that I had loved as a child. I believe I was specifically searching for Animals Crackers and Cocoa to Drink and the Children's Hour. Finding both in this volume, I returned home happily. But, it wasn't until I had a chance later to sit down and flip through the entire book that I realized what a treasure I had stumbled upon. This anthology contains every poem that I remember learning as a child. After perusing the entirety of the book, I felt like I would never have the need for another poetry book in my life - they were all in this one volume! Clearly an exaggeration, but it describes perfectly what a wonderful job I believe Elizabeth Sword did in compiling this anthology. I can't think of a single poem I would add. From the Village Blacksmith, to the Cremation of Sam McGee, Sick, Mr Nobody, Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening, Winken, Blinken and Nod, Paul Revere's Ride, the Raven, and more. And we have discovered new favorites as well, like Eddie the Spaghetti Nut, and my kids' favorite, the Old Pond. The kids occasionally grumble when I pull this book off the shelf at story time, but before I know it, they are all snuggled in beside me, laughing, or listening attentively. And after a few stanzas, they are begging for more. Once we've started, they never want us to put the book down!

I should credit both my father and grandfather, as well as my 6th grade English teacher Ms. Whiteside for instilling in me such a love of poetry. The poem below is one of my all time favorites, and my recollection is that I memorized it for Ms. Whiteside's class. (We each had to memorize and recite a poem out loud to the whole class about once a month.)


The Children's Hour 
by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Between the dark and the daylight,
When the night is beginning to lower,
Comes a pause in the day's occupations,
That is known as the Children's Hour.

I hear in the chamber above me
The patter of little feet,
The sound of a door that is opened,
And voices soft and sweet.

From my study I see in the lamplight,
Descending the broad hall stair,
Grave Alice, and laughing Allegra,
And Edith with golden hair.

A whisper, and then a silence:
Yet I know by their merry eyes
They are plotting and planning together
To take my by surprise.

A sudden rush from the stiarway,
A sudden raid from the hall!
By three doors left unguarded
They enter my castle wall!

The climb up into my turret
O'er the arms and back of my chair;
If I try to escape, they surround me;
They seem to be everywhere.

They almost devour me with kisses,
Their arms about me entwine,
Till I think of the Bishop of Bingen
In his Mouse-Tower on the Rhine!

Do you think, O blue-eyed banditti,
Because you have scaled the wall,
Such an old mustache as I am
Is not a match for you all!

I have you fast in my fortress,
And will not let you depart,
But put you down into the dingeon
In the round-tower of my heart.

And there I will keep you forever,
Yes, forever and a day,
Till the walls shall crumble to ruin,
And moulder and dust away!

Quote of the Day

I had the following conversation with Mattie yesterday morning before school:

Mattie: Who's going to pick me up at school today?

Mama: Me.

Mattie: Who else?

Mama: Jack, Elliot, and Theo. Everybody.

Mattie: I think my nana's going to pick me up.

Mama: (Puzzled, because he doesn't call anyone "nana".) Do you mean your nanny?

Mattie: Yes. I think my nanny's going to pick me up.

Mama: (Very curious, since we have never had a nanny!) Who's your nanny?

Mattie: You!

Oat Bombs

Jack has always loved recipes and baking. From before he could write, he has been concocting recipes. My Better Homes cookbook has some of his earliest writing in the back - a memory I'll always treasure. He wrote the recipe above when he was 4. (I spelled the words for him.) As with so many of his other interests, he loves to follow a familiar pattern and reinvent it. This past weekend he came up with a recipe for a cookie he called "Oat Bombs". It was based on a basic oatmeal cookie recipe, with a few special additions. We made them on Sunday. They were delicious! Ted said they were the best oatmeal cookies he had ever tasted. After we had all sampled a few, Jack asked us to rank them on a scale from 0-100. They were clearly a success! He has now decided to embark on making an entire cookbook. I hope to get the first copy!

Jack's Oat Bombs
3/4 c butter or margarine
1 c brown sugar
1/2 c sugar
1 egg
1 t vanilla extract
1/2 t lemon extract
1 3/4 c flour
1/2 t cream of tartar
1 t baking powder
1/4 t baking soda
1/2 t ground cinnamon
1/4 t ground cloves
2 cups rolled oats
1 1/2 c chocolate chips
1/3 c sunflower seeds

Preheat oven to 375. Combine all dry ingredients except chocolate chips and sunflower seeds in a bowl, and set aside. In a large mixing bowl, cream butter/margarine and sugars together. Continue mixing, and add egg and other liquid ingredients. Slowly add in dry ingredients. Stir in chocolate chips and sunflower seeds. Drop onto cookie sheets and bake for 10-12 minutes. Let cool and enjoy!

Happy baking!

Winter Baby

My mom still marvels at how I manage to be out and about so much (and for such long intervals) with a baby in Boston winters. Well, Grammy, here's how - he doesn't even wear a coat! I took these photos today, in our backyard.

Those are my stroller muffs in the foreground. I have to keep warm too!

Family Rules

How often is it that we take an honest assessment of our own interpersonal strengths and weaknesses? For me, the answer is rarely. But, I found something that led me down just that path of introspection this week. I was cleaning out our kitchen junk drawer, and came across an old paper with our family rules written out.  It must have been buried in there for along time, but I took it out, and hung it up on the side of the refrigerator. I've been staring at it, and thinking about the rules all week. They were typed out, so I was able to find the original file on my computer and see when exactly we drafted them. It was August 19, 2008. I was really impressed at how appropriate and on target the rules were, given how long had passed since we wrote them. Amazingly, the rules cover the same issues we struggle with daily. But, as I stared at the five simple lines day after day this week, I began to think more about the behaviors that prompted them, and why those issues remain our constant struggles. I was inspired to create our own set of family rules after watching the various nanny shows on tv. I watch them religiously, and have a great deal of respect for their techniques. For every family they visit, they draft a unique set of rules. This is always their first step towards creating a better, happier family dynamic. So, I decided to write a set of rules for our family. That was back in 2008, and I never did anything more than that. But this week, as I looked at the rules stuck to the refrigerator, and thought about their inspiration, I also thought about what else the nannies do when they go into a home. They always focus on changing the parents' behavior. When they do that, the kids' behavior changes as a natural byproduct. And so, standing in the kitchen alone one day, staring at the refrigerator, it hit me. Those rules I wrote, that were so well thought out, and so timeless in their application, were for me too. Of course, in an adult way, I follow all of those rules. But, when I looked just slightly below the surface, I realized that those rules not only point out the kids' weaknesses, but mine as well. In an instant, I saw so clearly that one of the reason the kids struggle with those issues, is that I too struggle with them. I tell them one thing, then do another myself. It's hard when something like that hits you so unexpectedly. But, I also am excited by the feeling that a well-lit path has been laid out before me. Those rules are now my beacon.

I look at the piece of paper now, and marvel at how simple yet profoundly wise the five rules I wrote are. When I drew them up, I never realized how seriously they would be taken, least of all by me. They will definitely be staying on the refrigerator, and maybe in 5 or 6 more locations throughout the house, as an inspiration. After all, even an old dog can learn new tricks. Here they are:

The Bruntrager Family Rules
1. We are a team -- work together, help each other.
2. Be kind. Don't hurt anyone else.
3. LISTEN. Don't talk when other people are talking.
4. LISTEN. Do what you are told the first time.
5. No whining. Be polite.

And I've decided to add one more rule that seemed too import to leave out. It's another weakness of mine that I hope to turn into a strength:
6. Have fun!

 (These photos are from our annual Thanksgiving family talent show, where our family truly shined.)

The Tale of the Bathroom Doors

Yesterday I picked up Mattie at school like usual, with all of his brothers in tow. We sat in the hallway outside his classroom for quite a while, chatting with the preschool director, who by now is an old friend. The boys enjoyed their snacks, and Elliot visited the restroom.  Today at pick up, the director pulled me aside. She wanted to share something with me, something that one of the teachers had brought to her attention. Apparently this teacher went into the school bathroom this morning and found all of the stall doors locked from the inside. Now, the director had been with us yesterday afternoon, and knew as well as I did what must have happened. Luckily, she has been running the school for 30 years, and was as cool as a cucumber. Together we shared a good laugh. I promised her that I would bring it up casually at home tonight to see what the reaction was. I did. Elliot beamed from ear to ear during the whole telling of the Tale of the Bathroom Doors. I'm thinking the teenage years are going to be tough with this one. I can't trust him already.