Quote of the Day

Mattie has had so many good ones lately, but here are two from today:

Mattie: I'm so lucky! You want to know why?
Cassie (our babysitter): Yes, why?
Mattie: Because one time, my dad opened the door on the top of the potty, and I got to see where the water goes inside!

It's just amazing the things that wow them. And the things that don't.

Earlier today I had the following conversation with him:

(Upon examining the baby crib where he and Theo slept as infants, and which we have always referred to as the "nest"...)
Mattie: You just have this out just in case, right?
Mama: In case of what?
Mattie: Because you're probably going to lay another egg in there soon, right?
Mama: Do you think so?
Mattie: Yeah, because you're pretty big, and I think another egg is going to need to come out soon.

And with that, he ran off, before I even had time to explain that I don't lay eggs!

A new season

And just like that, the summer went by in the blink of an eye. September came; school started. Two weeks later, the rink opened. Once again we’re back in the school and hockey groove. It’s been a while since I’ve posted, but one of my last posts in the Spring talked about my love-hate relationship with hockey. It’s still going strong. I hate the fact that we spend so many hours at the rink. I love watching my kids play. I hate making lunch at breakfast, dinner at lunch, serving it up at 3:30, only to finally get home at 8:30 at night and hear, “I'm hungry. What can I have?” I love that my kids are great at something I can’t even do. I hate the smell of everything that comes out of their hockey bags. I love sitting in the warm waiting room with all of the other hockey parents. I hate having to bark at the kids 100 times to put down their hockey sticks and do their homework. I love letting the little ones run around and play freely with the other hockey siblings. I hate when my kids cry because I won’t buy them candy from the snack bar. I love cheering their team on. I hate feeling like I’m never home on nights or weekends. I love holding Theo up, face pressed against the plexi-glass, to watch the zamboni smooth out the ice. I hate trying to get everyone out the door and in the car on time for practice. I love shopping for hockey equipment with the boys. I hate that we get home so late, so often, that I don’t get to read bedtime stories to the kids. I love the camaraderie they have from playing and loving hockey. Need I say more?

Despite my ambiguity about our commitment, one thing is crystal clear. The boys love to play. Elliot has been playing goalie again for his team (he also plays out of goal maybe 50% of the time.) I have some fantastic footage of him playing both in and out of goal. Jack, who had a tough season last year moving up to the next age division, got out on the ice this year, and scored the first goal, in the first game of the season, for his team. What a motivator! Both of their teams won the title in the Mayor's Cup last weekend, for their respective age divisions. Jack's team was undefeated in the tournament. Elliot's team lost their first game to their rival, won all their subsequent games, then came back to beat the same team in a rematch in the finals. Both boys' teams finished their games tied, went into overtime, tied again, then had to go to penalty shots to decide the winner. Talk about exciting! Check them out:

Let's start with Elliot in goal...

Making a glove save.

After making a diving stop.

Some video shot from the finals at the Mayor's Cup last weekend. Elliot catches the puck in his glove, again!

And here is another video of Elliot, from a game two weeks ago, when he was awarded a penalty shot during a game.

And, now it's Jack's turn.

A Big Week

We had an unusual run of accomplishments last week. Mattie learned to ride Elliot's old bike, without training wheels. Jack hit a grand slam in his baseball game. Elliot won the second grade bilingual spelling bee. What a week!

Quote of the Day

Elliot: If I got to build one thing in my life, do you know what it would be?
Me: No, what?
Elliot: A money dispenser!
Me: (Surprised pause.)
Elliot: I got that idea from a licorice dispenser on Phineas and Ferb.

Quotations

I have quotes hanging up all over our house. I collected them. I typed them in pretty fonts, printed them out and laminated them. I read many of them every day. Beyond that, I don't really think about them much. But, they are something that everyone else who comes into our house notices and comments on right away. Our ten year old female neighbor even lamented (with a sigh) one day, that her house doesn't have any quotes at all. Besides the ones that are hanging, I've collected many more. Sometimes I swap them out, just to surprise the kids. It started when a read a book a few years ago. (I'm a total sucker for books about any stay at home mother who has more children than I do!) The author said that she collected quotes that inspired her, so I started doing the same thing. I've actually loved collecting quotes since I was a teenager. I'm not sure if anyone I know as an adult knows this (not even Ted,) but I used to share quotes with a girlfriend in high school. We collected them, wrote them in a folded up, loose-leaf paper note, and delivered them to each other many days. We kept it up from junior high into high school.

The quotes I have around the house fall into all different catgories; some are clearly meant for the kids, others for me. But, they all have one thing in common. They embody the messages that I hope my children with take with them when they leave this home. Since so many people have asked for my list, I'm sharing it here. Happy reading!

Many hands make light work.

The real magic wand is the child’s own mind.

-Jose Ortega y Gasset

When we feel grateful, we feel full - full of love, full of inspiration, full of ideas and full of creative spirit.

Logic will get you from A to B. 

Imagination will take your everywhere.

-Albert Einstein

If we did the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves.

-Thomas Edison

In dwelling, live close to the ground. 

In thinking, keep it to the simple. 

In conflict, be fair and generous. 

In governing, don’t try to control. 

In work, do what you enjoy. 

In family life, be completely present.

-Tao Te Ching

Earth, we thank you for this food,

For rest and home and all things good,

For wind and rain and sun above,

But most of all for those we love.

The child must know that he is a miracle, that since the beginning of the world there hasn’t been, and until the end of the world there will not be, another child like him.

-Pablo Casals

Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once we grow up.

-Pablo Picasso

There is enough on earth for everybody’s need, but not enough for everybody’s greed.

-Mahatma Gandhi

If we are peaceful, if we are happy, we can smile and blossom like a flower, and everyone in our family, our entire society, will benefit from our peace.

-Thich Nhat Hanh

Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.

-Theodore Roosevelt

Nobody made a greater mistake than he who did nothing because he could only do a little.

-Edmund Burke

The least used words by an unselfish person are I, me, my, and mine.

Prayer does not cause faith to work; faith causes prayer to work.

Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.

Men give advice; God gives guidance.

It doesn’t take strength to hold a grudge; it takes strength to let go of one.

Humility before God gives confidence before men.

Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. 

1 John 3:18

An anxious word weighs man down, but a kind word cheers him up.

Proverbs 12:25

If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again!

Lord, I trust in you!

Do small things with great love.

-Mother Teresa

If we are together nothing is impossible. 

If we are divided all will fail.

-Winston Churchill

You can’t save time, but you can invest it.

Listening to your heart,

finding out who you are

is not simple.

It takes time for the

chatter to quiet down.

In the silence of “not doing”

we begin to know what we feel.

If we listen and hear

what is being offered,

then anything in life

can be our guide.

Listen.

When I stop speeding through life, I find the joy in each day’s doings, in the life that cannot be bought, but only discovered, created, savored, and lived.

In stillness, we find our peace. 

Knowing peace at home, we bring peace into the world.

In simplicity there is freedom – 

freedom to do less and enjoy more.

Right now, I have everything I need. 

When I honor life’s gifts with my children, I teach them abundance and strengthen their faith that their own needs will be met.

Breathing in I calm my body.

Breathing out I smile.

Dwelling in the present moment, I know this is a wonderful moment.

-Thich Nhat Hanh

In order to listen, we must first be quiet.

Earth who gives to us this food, sun who makes it ripe and good, dearest earth and dearest sun, we’ll not forget what you have done. Blessings on our meal and each other. 

Amen.

At feasts, remember that you are entertaining two guests: body and soul. What you give to the body, you presently lose; what you give to the soul, you keep forever.

-Epictetus

Work is love made visible.

“Things” are easy to give. It is much harder to give ourselves.

Nothing is too small to be noticed, and once noticed, there is nothing that can’t also be extraordinary.-Elizabeth Spencer

Prayer for Little Children

From my head to my feet

I am the image of God.

From my heart to my hands

I feel the breath of God.

When I speak with my mouth

I follow God’s will.

When I behold God

Everywhere, in mother and father,

In all dear people,

In beast and flower,

In tree and stone,

Nothing brings fear,

But love to all

That is around me.

-Rudolph Steiner

How easy it is to find ourselves sprinkling droplets over a field, spreading ourselves too thin, giving without replenishing, accomplishing nothing of real value. And so I strive to keep my garden small, but to care for it joyfully and well. We bloom here.

-Katrina Kenison

Sometimes is seems, there are discernible changes overnight. The boy who meets my gaze at the breakfast table is not the same one whose cheek I kissed the night before. And even as I marvel at the latest incarnation, I grieve for yesterday’s child, already a memory. To love them is always to let them go, bit by bit, day after day.

-Katrina Kenison

Everything requires effort; the only thing you can accomplish without it is failure. 

Keep trying!

Give others a piece of your heart, not a piece of your mind.

The best way to show my gratitude to God is to accept everything, even my problems, with joy.

Wisdom is knowing what to do next; virtue is doing it!

I compared notes with one of my friends who expects everything of the universe... and I found that I begin at the other extreme, expecting nothing, and am always full of thanks for moderate goods.

We are not at peace with others because we are not at peace with ourselves, and we are not at peace with ourselves because we are not at peace with God. 

Forgiveness brings freedom.

The person who loses their conscience has nothing left worth keeping.

The generous man enriches himself by giving; the miser hoards himself poor.

Breaking the Law

Every morning Jack and Elliot get up, get dressed, then come upstairs to eat breakfast. It doesn't make for the cleanest school clothes, but it makes getting up and getting ready go quickly and smoothly. Mattie still goes to pre-school, so he gets to leave later in the morning. We've always let him eat breakfast in his pajamas, then get dressed after the big boys leave. But, this hasn't been working so well lately. The more I expect him to undress and dress independently, the more he has been digging his heels in and doing nothing. So, I decided to take a short cut, and get him dressed at night. Now, on school nights, he picks out his clothes for the next day and wears them to bed. What a difference! He gets out of bed, and is practically ready to walk out the door. Everything was going great, until Jack remembered something he had read. "Sleeping in your day clothing is against the law in Boston." So, while we have solved one problem, we have simultaneously created a new one. Now, mornings go smoothly, but bedtime tortures Jack!

A Night to Remember

(Written Tuesday night.)
Do you know that feeling when you've been stuck in a negative rut? You feel like it's been going on far too long, but don't know how to turn things around? That's how I've felt lately about parenting. And it's miserable. I've had too few hours of sleep, too little patience, and not enough thanks for far too long. For me, a stay at home mom, these ruts can be overwhelming, as parenting is, basically, my whole life. So, I had to stop for a moment tonight, even though it's after 11:00, and long past my bedtime, to write this down. I had the most wonderful dinner with the boys tonight. It was so unexpected, and well, frankly, enjoyable, that I couldn't go on being thankless a moment longer. What was so special about this dinner? I got to sit down. For the entire meal. No one misbehaved. We all talked and laughed. The boys even ate. How did we manage to accomplish this? To start with, it was early. We weren't rushed. So, I took the time to call everyone upstairs when dinner was ready and insist that everyone pitch in to get it on the table. I gave the older kids several jobs, including serving their younger siblings. I made sure that the boys put my food on the table as well. And when they finally sat down, I pointed out that I was sitting down too, and would not be getting up to help anyone else during the meal. I also gave out quite a stern warning that I would not tolerate any criticisms or complaints at the table, and that anyone who did not behave politely would be asked to leave the table, and not invited back. I explained that I had cooked the meal, and that it was the only one I was making. I expected everyone to try it, and if they didn't care to eat it, they had to take care of themselves. Something in my demeanor must have signaled that I meant business (either that, or the kids were afraid I was finally going to snap.) Whichever it was, it worked. All four boys helped set the table politely, sat down nicely, and we even got to talk to each other. They each ate some of the dinner I had prepared (flounder, rice and broccoli,) but each one also had a piece of toast. Jack made his own, and Elliot graciously offered to make one for himself, Mattie and Theo. They got out everything they needed, and I was able to sit down the whole time. It was nothing short of miraculous. It hasn't happened again, and it probably won't for another year at least, but boy did I enjoy that night. And thankfully, it was just what I need to snap out of that rut.

Rainy Day Fun

I'm getting pretty tired of rainy days. For my own sanity, I've felt the need to come up with some fun (and time consuming!) rainy day activities. I was inspired this year by two books I read about crafting in the home, and have been trying to make time for more fun, creative activities. This week of rain has been a perfect excuse for it! In case you're looking for something similar to do at your house, I thought I'd share the fun!

So far this week, we've...

made plate-sized pancakes for lunch,

rebuilt a Lego castle that Mattie got for Christmas,

made our own playdough, 

planted wheat grass, 

including some experimental growth mediums,

and made pet rocks.

The end of the season

Tonight was our last hockey practice of the season. As I started the oh-so-familiar routine once again, I thought how glad I was that the season was over. Like every other Monday, Wednesday and Thursday, I rushed everyone home from school, hurried to get the older boys started on their homework, raced to get dinner on the table by 4:00, packed up an evening's worth of snacks, drinks and diapers, and somehow got 4 distracted boys out of the house and into the car. Through it all, I kept telling myself, "this is the last time you have to do this this year. Just be patient and breathe, and get through this evening." It worked. We made it into the car on time, sailed through the traffic on the expressway, and pulled into the rink 15 minutes before ice time.

By this point in the year, it seems like hockey season has been going on forever. In truth, it has only been 6 months. But the commitment is so extreme, and you spend so much time at the rink, that it weighs on you. Since September, we have spent 2-3 hours at the rink, 5 days a week. And as much as I dread the rushed afternoons and the homework cramming stress, making dinner at lunch each day, and dragging four boys through rush hour traffic to and from the rink, I love hockey.

As I rounded everyone up to come back home from the rink tonight, I felt like I was leaving college for the summer, or heading home from overnight camp. Saying "goodbye," and "we'll see you in September," seemed so strange, so wrong. For each child who makes the commitment to play on a hockey team, there are parents and siblings who (willingly or not!) make the same time commitment to make it possible. During the season, the rink is a huge part of our life together. Jack and Elliot play pick-up street hockey with the older kids while they take their turns on the ice. They do their homework in the referees locker room. Mattie and Theo play in the warm waiting room with the other younger siblings. The parents chat, watching the action on the ice, and more or less keeping an eye on the little ones. For me, it's a rare opportunity to be with so many other families with 3, 4 or more children. It's a place where kids are allowed to run around, and play largely unsupervised with each other, two things I'm finding increasingly rare these days. No one puts on airs or fancy clothes to sit around the frigid rink. We all huddle together in down coats and hooded sweatshirts and complain about how hard it is to fix dinner and get homework done on hockey nights. While no one would argue about the healthiness of it, we let our kids order candy, Powerade or frozen pizza from the snack bar, and watch the them share and enjoy it. There is no fear of dirty looks or judging stares from other parents. We're a team - kids and adults, on the ice and off. To me it's simple, and wonderful, and welcoming. And, just as I knew I would, I think I miss it already.

Maybe it's time to start looking for a summer hockey league, just to get us through to September...

Fall down. Get back up. Fall down. Get back up. Fall down. Get back up. 

Hockey teaches kids more than just how to skate.

Snowflakes and Compliments

It's almost Spring in Boston (or so we keep telling ourselves!) Every time I gaze out the windows, I see one of our special memories. We decorated the windows of our house with snowflakes this winter. It started way back in November, before a single flake had fallen, when the thought of winter still felt inviting and pleasant. I'm not sure exactly where I got the initial inspiration, but once we started making snowflakes, we couldn't stop! Elliot and Jack helped out as well, making lots of twelve-sided beauties. From a pack of recyclcd printer paper, each one was cut out individually, and they are all beautifully unique. I'm getting ready to take them down for Spring, and I'm not sure if we'll ever do it again, but I hope the kids remember the winter we looked out at the world through snowflakes, and smile.

We also started a new tradition recently that I call the compliments jar. We have colored index cards that anyone can write a compliment down on, then fold it in half, and drop it in the jar. (The lid doesn't have a top, just a rim.) The only rule, is that you can't write a compliment about yourself. About once a week, when we are all together, we take out all the folded cards, and take turns reading the compliments. Everyone loves hearing the praise! I do most of the writing, but Jack and Elliot have also joined in and added compliments not just about their siblings, but about Ted and me as well. I try to think of at least one thing to compliment someone on each day, so we usually end up reading 5-8 cards at a time. I often notice the kids peering into the jar, to see if any new compliments have appeared. Their eyes light up as they ponder who they might about!

Snow Days

I tend to find snow days frustrating. The few hours that the kids are in school are often the only weekday hours when I can count on getting something done. But I have found, on these days, that if I can relax and let go, giving in to the day, I am often rewarded by something only slightly short of the miraculous. If I can reframe my thinking early on in the day, and make the conscious decision to neither ask for, nor expect anything in particular, I find that some beautiful surprise is always waiting for me, just around the corner. I've learned this lesson so many times in my life, from getting into a challenging yoga pose, to making it through an awful traffic jam, but I still struggle with getting into this mindset. I still get caught up in my to-do list, or my selfish wish list for the day. Fortunately, I managed to mentally put everything aside today, and just enjoyed the day. Here are some of the beautiful moments I was rewarded with:

We had treats this morning after our adventure getting to music class.

Mattie learned how to play Uno.

And won.

A few quiet moments with Theo, the way only I get to see him.

Some time in the snow.

Jack created an I Spy collection.

Sixteen homemade soft pretzels. (I wasn't fast enough with the camera to capture more than the last three!)

And then, the babysitter came. Happy snow day everyone!

Waiting to die

Out of the blue last week, Mattie starting talking about not wanting to die. I'm not sure whether he heard something at school, or whether he's just at that age where time and space start to make more sense. Over the weekend, his comments became more frequent, and it became clear that he was more than just working something out, he was afraid. I realized that I had never stopped to talk about death with him. With older siblings in the house, sometimes I assume that Mattie has figured things out or picked them up by assimilation, until I'm suddenly reminded that I've neglected something important. So, I talked to him. I told him that when you die, your eyes close like you're sleeping, and your body stops moving. I told him that what's inside of you, your soul, goes to Heaven and keeps on living. I told him that Heaven was where God lived, and that once you live in Heaven, you never die again; you live forever. I told him that Heaven was beautiful, and that we will all be together in Heaven. These few simplified statements made him feel much better. I could tell at once that he was relieved and no longer afraid. I felt good too, knowing that we had gotten over this "big" question. I also felt thankful for the reminder that, as a Catholic parent, I wasn't doing my job to teach Mattie about the basics of our religion, but that in those few moments, I had taken an important step in that education. Then, this morning, Mattie jumped out of bed and announced, "I can't wait to die! Can't you not wait to die too, Mama?" and ran upstairs for breakfast. He told me the same thing four more times before I dropped him off at school. Now, I think I'm traumatized.

My Christmas Card

Jack presented me with this wonderful card on the last day of school before Christmas. My kids aren't known for being overly grateful or appreciative, so I'm going to have to hold on to this one for a VERY long time. I love that it also offers a glimpse into two of the current influences in his life, church and Super Mario Brothers.

(Theo helped with that shot.)

Quote of the Day

Elliot lost a glove at school on Friday. We went back inside after pick up, to search his locker thoroughly. Along with a few dozen other pieces of paper, and lots of crumpled up artwork, I found this:

"mom I staded in for recess because I for got to bring in my letters and I was playing with the dradle when I was not supposta."

And this gem, from Jack, on the way home from hockey tonight:

Jack: I wish you would work.
Me: Why?
Jack: Well, I wish you would get a job at Dunkin Donuts!
Me: Is that because you think I would bring home donuts every night to help fatten you up?
Jack: (Giggling.) Yes! Actually, I think I want you to work at Jae's. But, most of the people who work there are Chinese, so you might not fit in. (Sigh.) Just like Rudolph.