Quotes of the Day

"I have lots of room in my wallet. Could you just give me a credit card? Please, Mama? I need some lots of money. Ok?"

- Mattie









"Thank you for making a cake for us.

I mean me.

I mean everyone."

-Elliot, trying to set it right, after his initial attempt at thanking me for making myself a birthday cake. Ted and I just couldn't keep a straight face. Elliot knew he wasn't getting it right, but somehow managed to say something funnier each time!

Summer Reading

On a recent fall-like afternoon, I was relaxing on the couch nursing Theo, mindlessly watching TV.  I caught a rerun of 19 Kids and Counting. In it, Michelle Duggar said that she tries to praise her kids 10 times more than she criticizes them, and that someone once told her that when you compliment someone, you can multiply that praise by the number of people in the room who hear it. Her words of wisdom stuck with me, so here goes.

I had the pleasure of watching a small miracle unfold this summer. Jack and Elliot became book lovers. Both boys came home with some suggestions for summer reading, and I bought them each several promising titles. But, neither boy had any interest in reading when school let out in June. Frustrated, I decided to try something completely new. I offered the boys $1 for each chapter book they finished. I don't believe in paying kids to do something they should just do in the normal course of life, but I wanted a way to encourage them to read, that wouldn't require any involvement, nags or threats on my part. I was also interested in giving them a way to earn small amounts of money, to start teaching some spending lessons as well. So, I threw caution to the wind, and announced my payout promise to the boys. In my mind, I estimated that they were likely to read between 5 and 10 chapter books each during the summer.

Upon explaining the rules to the boys, they ran downstairs immediately, demanding their pile of books. And, amazingly, their enthusiasm never waned. Jack discovered a new favorite author. He read only Dan Gutman books all summer. Elliot continued with some familiar series, and got through the entire Magic Tree House collection. In total, Elliot read 37 books. Jack read 21. (On average, his books were slightly longer.) I am so incredibly proud of them. Not only did they exceed my loftiest hopes, but they discovered a joy that no amount of bribery could buy. All summer long I found them curled up with their books, nestled in corners and on the couch. They read in the car, and complained when the trips were too short. They read in bed, before and after lights out. I was so amazed, that I made them each type up a list of the books they read. I wanted them to be able to look back, years from now, and remember the stories they so enjoyed. Here they are:

Jack's List:
My Weird School #4 Miss Hannah is Bananas
MWS #5 Miss Small Is Off the Wall
MWS #6 Mr Hynde Is Out of His Mind
MWS #7 Mrs Cooney Is Looney
MWS #8 Miss Lagrange Is Strange
MWS #9 Miss Lazarre Is Bazarre
MWS 310Mr Docker Is Off His Rocker
MWS#11 Mirs Kormel Is Not Normal
MWS #12 Miss Todd Is Odd
MWS #13 Mrs Patty Is Batty
MWS #14 Miss Holly Is Too Jolly
MWS #15 Mr Macky Is Wacky
MWS #16 Miss Coco Is Loco
MWS #17 Miss Suki Is Kooky
Honus and Me
MWS #18 Mrs Yonkers Is Bonkers
MWS #19 Dr Carbles Is Losing His Marbles
MWS #20 Mr Louie Is Screwy
MWS #21 Miss Krup Cracks Me Up
My Weird School Daze #1 Mrs Dole Is Out of Control
MWSD #2 Mr Sunny Is Funny

Elliot's List:

Nate the Great
Nate the Great and the Sticky Case
Invisible Stanley
Stanley Flat Again
Nate the Great and the Missing Valentine
Nate the Great and the Missing Key
Flat Stanley
Nate the Graet and the missing pillowcase
Nate the Graet and the hallaween hunt
Flat Stanley
Magic Tree House #18 Buffalo before Breakfast
Magic Tree House #19 Tigers at Twilight
Hardy Boys Trouble at the Arcade
Mr. Docker is off his Rocker
Mrs. Kormel is Not Normal
Miss Lazar Bizarre
Magic Tree House # 20 Dingoes at Dinnertime
Magic Tree House #21 Civil War on Sunday
Magic Tree House #22 Revolution War on Wednesday
Magic Tree House # 23 Twister on Tuesday
Magic Tree House #24 Earthquake in the Early Morning
MTH #25 Stage Fright on a Summer Night
MTH #26 Good Morning, Gorillas
MTH #27 Thanksgiving on Thursday
MTH #28 High Tide in Hawaii
MWS 6 Mr Hynde is out of  His Mind
MTH #29 christmis in camelot
MTH #30 hanted castle on hallaween eve
MTH #31 summer of the sea serpent
MTH #32 winter of the ice wizard
MTH #33 carnival at candlelight
MTH #34 seasens of the sandstorms
MTH #35 night of the new magicians
MTH #36 blizzard on a blue moon
MTH #37 dragon of the red dawn
MTH #38 Monday with a mad genius
MTH  Dark day in the deep sea

Sleep

Sleep, is perhaps the most painful sacrifice of parenthood. Some kids are great sleepers, others are terrible, but almost all kids go through bouts of night wakings, depriving their parents of something they can't do their job without. We have had our share of it all, but it seems that we've been in a particularly long-lasting rut since Theo was born. He is not a great sleeper. Between our travels, teething (he has 3 of 4 molars at this point,) and illnesses, the last three months have been pretty bad. Add in the fact that he only sleeps 9 1/2 hours at night, and prefers to rise between 6 and 6:30, and it can be rough. His brothers like to do their part as well, choosing the nights that Theo sleeps soundly for their nighttime troubles. As I write this, Jack is upstairs in the bathroom, jolted awake by a full bladder, which resulted in a night terror. He hadn't had one in over a year, but his success with nighttime dryness has brought them back again. If he has to go to the bathroom early in the night, waking disturbs his sleep

patterns enough to launch a night terror. So, he's doing a beautiful job staying dry, but we're back to getting up to put him back to bed now too. Thankfully, there's Mattie. He is our best sleeper. I asked Ted last night if he could remember the last time Mattie woke up in the middle of the night. He couldn't. Neither can I. He sleeps from 7 to 7. I like to fantasize about what my life would be like if all of my kids slept like that. Ahhhh. Until that happens, I hope that you'll ignore my puffy eyes. And if I'm spacey, forgetful, or slow to respond, just nod and smile. Someday the boys will be teenagers, and sleep-in until noon. I just might then too.

Growing Up

It's been 2 1/2 months since my last blog entry. I had no intention of taking the summer off, but apparently that's what happened. We've had an incredibly busy summer. We visited family, went to the beach and Spain. While I was MIA, the kids have been busy growing up, as usual. We celebrated two birthdays. Jack turned 9; Elliot turned 7. I feel like I can handle 7 pretty well. After all, I've had a seven year old before. But, nine, that's a different story. Somehow, it feels like I've been preoccupied by pregnancies or a new baby for so long now, that Jack went and grew up while my back was turned. He graduated to riding in the car without a booster seat this summer. He measures slightly over 54" tall. Less than one foot separates us in height. He plays out in the alley alone, and was allowed to roam the neighborhood by himself for the first time this week. Increasingly, I find myself looking at him in awe. How did he get to be so big? How have nine years gone by so quickly? How much more time do I have before he's gone, ensconced in a world of friends, or moved away to school? Thankfully, he's still more little boy than big one. He still likes to hold my hand. He still waits for a kiss good night and to be tucked in. He looks for my permission before doing just about anything. But, somehow, without the tunnel vision focus of surviving a pregnancy or new baby, I have felt just the tiniest bit of heartache when I look at the boys this summer. I find myself trying to take every moment in and savor it, before it disappears. I feel like I have to hold on at all costs, lest another nine years pass by in the blink of an eye...

Thoughts from the Circus

I went to the circus a few weeks ago with Mattie and his class. During the final curtain call, I noticed that most of the performers were siblings, or groups of siblings. In fact, excluding the animal trainers and clowns, all but one of the groups of performers were siblings. Suddenly, and entirely unexpectedly, I had one of those transcendent mommy moments sitting there in the dark circus tent, surrounded by 50 preschooler and their parents. In the way that only a mother feels, my heart swelled to think of the profound bond that each group of performers had with their siblings, allowing them to entrust their lives to each other at each performance. With my heart in my throat I thought, this is what I want for my children.

My happy, weepy moment reminded me of a phenomenal parenting book that I read earlier this year called Siblings Without Rivalry. Like most parents of multiple children, I spend a (very) large part of my time listening to and dealing with sibling squabbles. But I always found it impossible to empathize with the boys, or even understand the fighting and meanness between them. This book put the whole concept of sibling rivalry into a different context for me. For the first time, I could actually imagine myself in my kids' shoes. Looking at family life from their perspective, I find it easier now to focus my energy and attention on each boy individually, giving them more of that personal love that they are fighting for. I also ignore and diffuse the negative attention drives much more successfully. Our house may still be full of squabbles, but I have noticed some very dramatic changes since reading the book. Of course, I still have my lofty hopes that they'll grow to trust and rely on each other like the acrobats on the flying trapeze. But in the meantime, I'll settle for having their feet on the ground and being kind to one another once and a while. If that sounds nice to you too, I highly recommend this book.

Vital Stats

Theo had his 15 month check up today.  He was 25 lbs 4 oz, and 34" long. He walks all the time now, and even tries to run when he sees something he really wants. His molars are coming in, so he hasn't been sleeping as well as usual, and has been pretty crabby a lot of the time, but it's hard to blame him when I see his red swollen gums. He has successfully transitioned to one nap a day, which I'm ecstatic about. He usually naps from about 10:30 to 1:30 each day, and then goes down for bed around 8, and gets up around 6:30 or 6:45. He loves the playground, and cries whenever he sees one and we don't stop. He has also just started showing jealousy towards Mattie. Whenever we hold Mattie on our laps, or pick up or kiss Mattie, Theo comes waddling over to fuss and push Mattie away. Theo still hates diapers changes, loves to be held, and breastfeeds about 5 times most days. He also likes to eat strawberries, blueberries, blackberries, raspberries, pasta, grilled cheese, eggs, chocolate, peanut butter, asparagus, peas, pears, apples, bananas, yogurt, cheese, cheerios, chicken, ice cream and bread.

Theo is absolutely adorable. We love watching his personality unfold. But, he also drives us crazy with his insatiable need to be held, and afinity for climbing everything. He is definitely keeping us on our toes! Each day he is more of a toddler, and a big boy, chasing after his brothers in every way.

Quote of the Day

Elliot, preparing to confront Mattie, who was obstinately blocking Elliot's path up the stairs:

"Cub Scouts can face 3 year olds!"

va·ca·tion (n)

On our most recent road trip, we went back to the beach town where I went every summer growing up. I have so many fond memories there. It is one of the most peaceful and relaxing places I can think of. However, I found this vacation to be about as relaxing as my average day at work, which is to say, not relaxing at all.

Traveling with your children is like working from a remote location. While the scenery may be much more beautiful, it is not a break from work at all. We certainly had some of those blissful moments on our trip, when I realized that everyone was happy and enjoying themselves at the same time. No one was crying or whining, complaining or fighting. I would look around and smile, trying to take it all in and savor it, for as long as it would last. But, inevitably, the magic moment ended, and it was back to work as usual.

Vacation can be defined 4 ways.

va·ca·tion /veɪˈkeɪʃən, və-/ Show Spelled[vey-key-shuhn] – noun

1. a period of suspension of work, study, or other activity, usually used for rest, recreation, or travel; recess or holiday: 

2. a part of the year, regularly set aside, when normal activities of law courts, legislatures, etc., are suspended.

3. freedom or release from duty, business, or activity.

4. an act or instance of vacating.

But what I think I have realized on all of our family trips is that my idea of a vacation is quite different than traveling with kids. The vacation I am thinking of can only be defined one way.

va·ca·tion /veɪˈkeɪʃən, və-/ Show Spelled[vey-key-shuhn] – noun
1. a trip with no kids. 

Hopefully someday, not too many years from now, I'll get to take another one. 

Jack's World

Jack has an interesting personality. He lives more in his own world than most people. He is very interactive with everyone around him, but often in trying to bring us into his world more than sharing ours. His world is very imaginative, but also full of rules, and very black and white. Here's a glimpse from Tuesday evening with Jack.

Jack, who is learning Spanish for the first time this year, was very proud of one of his spelling sentences that day. He started the conversation like this: "I wrote a 20 point sentence for spelling today, all in Spanish, with 20 words, two spelling words, and without even using the word and!" (Lots of hand flapping.) I asked him to write the sentence for me. Mi amigo tiene que recortar su dibujo porques es un dibujo muy mal con un problema de matemáticas que es inexacto, he wrote. I was really impressed. I asked whether the teachers wanted them to try to write long sentences and gave them one point per word. "No," he said, "I just like to count it that way. They don't care how long it is, or how many spelling words you use in one sentence. And they don't care if you use and, but that's too easy, so I don't like to do it myself." At this point he noticed that the sentence he had written on our white board actually had 21 words. (Lots of hand flapping, again.) "I wrote muy mal tonight. I didn't use muy at school. I wish I had thought of that before. That makes it even more points!"

Later that evening he asked if he could type something on the computer. I said yes. When he returned, he had a pile of "homework" worksheets that he had made. Elliot, ever the eager participant, got to do Jack's homework. Here is Elliot's completed (and graded - by Jack) worksheet.

Jack gave him a 15/20 on the homework, even though Elliot got all of the answers right! He prepared an answer sheet himself which showed all of the elements which were required to earn full credit on the assignment. Here it is.

When Ted came home that night, he had the following conversation with Jack:

J: Who's the best player on the Mosquitoes?
T: Jack, I don't know any of the players on the Mosquitoes.
J: Yes, you do! Come on!
T: Um, Angel Pagan?
J: Uhhhh, Dad. He's terrible!

Before Ted could try to guess again, Elliot shouted out a guess from across the room.
He was right. Of course.
He spends a lot more time in Jack's World than we do. Duh.

The biggest fork

The following conversation between Mattie and Elliot took place recently at our dinner table.

M: I got a bigger fork.
E: No, mine is bigger.
M: But, I got mine first.
E: Mine's big.
M: Isn't mine the biggest?

At this point, a fork sword fight erupted.

Apparently, it's not enough to have something great, something that you like. You have to have something that everyone else likes. And wants.

New to the Gallery

Mattie has only two days left of his first year of school. As one of their final projects, his class did self portraits. I love this piece so much, as it showcases perfectly Mattie's progress this year.

Mattie started school unable to do any representational drawing. He didn't know or recognize a single letter. Without any specific instruction, he has developed enough pencil control to create recognizable pictures, and he has learned to print his name. Bravo, Mattie!

Quote of the Day

On our recent road trip to NJ, Jack spent a considerable amount of time pouring over our road atlas in the car. He's always loved the song "Wabash Canonnball", with it's long list of improbable Midwestern destinations.

(These Disney lyrics seem different from any of the other better known versions of the song, but all the more scintillating to Jack, with their lengthy list of stops.)

"Great cities of importance we'll see along the way,
Chicago and St. Louis, Rock Island so they say,
Springfield and Decatur, Peoria, Valvon,
(I'm not even sure that's what they're saying there)
You can reach your destination on the Wabash Cannonball.
This reindeer runs to Quincy, Monroe and Mexico
...
There's many other cities that you can go and see,
St. Paul and Minneapolis, Ashtabula, Kankakee,
The lakes of Minnehaha where the laughing waters fall,
You'll reach them by no other than the Wabash Cannonball."

He had successfully located many of the cities mentioned, but was stuck searching for Minnehaha. When Ted couldn't find it either, he grabbed his blackberry and did a quick search. This yielded the disappointing fact that Minnehaha, while the official name of a street, park, and body of water in Minnesota, is not a city, as Jack had believed. This threw Jack's mind into turmoil, forcing him to grapple with the fate of his beloved team, the Minnehaha Mosquitoes. (You can read more about the Mosquitoes by clicking on the label at the bottom of this post.) He said, quite alarmed, "Does this mean the Mosquitoes will have to change their name?"